She's gone
by ElsaTheFrozenQueen
Summary: Elsa's gone, and Anna now have to live with the lose. If she can.
1. Gone

Anna kicked the door to her room open, hearing as it jumped out of its hinges, but she didn't care. Furiously throwing herself around, she kicked her bedside table without really thinking about the consequences. A violent pain rushed through her leg, her fury subsided, but for just a short, passing moment. Not long did it take the burn to come back though. As Anna began ripping her pillow cover apart, she had found that biting it was the best way to destroy the innocent piece of fabric, in the most violent way. Soon parts of her pillow were floating around the room. She felt a storm brewing inside, an overwhelming, all consuming storm that would never settle.

_This cannot be happening!_

Still having sweat, blood and tears dripping from her chin to her soaked through top, she ripped her blood-covered jacket off, and threw it out the window, into the dark night. She took a closer look at her demolished top. _Still wet._ A scent of metal hung around her, the scent of disbelief.

She whispered words she did not even understand herself, while grabbing onto her hair with such power that almost ripped individual strands out from her scalp.

_What the actual FUCK just happened? This can't be real._

Her thoughts were flouncing around on the violent sea of emotions, leaving her alone and stranded, far from solid ground. With each kick, she was sinking deeper.

_No, it's a freaking dream. It has to be!_

Threw her chair against the wall, and saw it broke into several pieces, like dreams, so fragile, but barely left any marks on the harsh wall of life. It did not help, how could it?

_Is this reality? How could something like this happen?_

_FUCK. FUCK. FUCK!_

The feeling to destroy something kept growing stronger, and the banging inside her head was beginning to make her dizzy, like the sound battle drums, beating tirelessly. She… She just needed…GODDAMNIT!

Faint footsteps could be heard from the hallway, but she didn't really care. How could she? Ripping the shelves out of the wall and throwing the sculptures against them, watching them break into a million pieces didn't made her less volatile.

_Just like my heart._

She began tearing down pictures from the wall throwing them to where the shelves used to sit, the once peaceful, although messy room was more like a battlefield now, a battleground where she is her own enemy.

Right before launching the last picture to meet it's destiny, she grabbed around something familiar. A round wooden frame, with a smooth surface, covered in small purple jewels and lacquer. She even recognized the smell of the wood. It was comforting.

She thought better of her previous intention, held onto that small piece of memory.

Looking at the back, she could skim the initial 'E' cut into it, followed by an 'A', both connected inside a little heart. She turned the frame around and gazed into a pair of beautiful big blue eyes. The fury flushed out of her, it was gone in that instant like carried away by a small breeze. All that's left now is the feeling of emptiness. Those fucking eyes. Her chin. That beautiful long heavenly white hair curled into a long braid, laid over her shoulder. That smile. God, that wonderful happy smile! How you could see her biting her lip, just slightly. She smiled for herself with tears of despair in her big blue eyes, looking at the picture of her elder sister, her first day in College.

Then reality hit her. She would never get to see that smile again. Or her chin and hair. The truth hit her like a rock, and something inside her shattered into almost non-existent little pieces. She finally snapped, and felt the tears running down her bright red cheeks.

She heard someone push the broken door in. Looking up, she saw her mother standing in the doorframe, looking both terrified and scared. They've shared the same teary eyes.

"Jesus, Anna! What have you…?" She stopped midsentence when she saw Anna was standing in the middle of her trashed room, tears dripping down her cheeks, hugging the last picture and memory she had of Elsa.

"Mo…m…" Anna was sobbing, as she fell on her knees, breaking down completely. Her whole world came crashing down around her.

She felt her mother's warm and comforting presence pressing against her body, and she buried her head into her shoulder, taking in the smell, which reminded of her sister's. She wanted to be in her mother's arms forever, where she felt safe. Where the feeling of grief and misery couldn't reach her. Still holding the picture in her hands, she could feel it pressing into her mom's abdomen. Wanted to move it, just to make sure her mom wasn't uncomfortable, but the picture gave her a feeling of comfort, like if Elsa was still with them. In between them, smiling and laughing, as she always did when they had a family hug. They would never get to hug like that again.

She felt her mother move, as if she wanted to say something. As if she wanted to tell her it was going to be okay. That they'll be alright. However, no words ever came, soon she could feel something dripping into her hair. Her mother was weeping too. Anna could feel her mothers nails in her back. She needed this as much as Anna did.

_She happened to be in the wrong spot, at the wrong time._

Her sister didn't deserve this.

_She Didn't. She DID NOT deserve anything but good in this world. She deserved to grow old, marry a wonderful guy, raise their children, and live a wonderful life. _

_It should have been me._

_Me, being the goddamn failure I am._


	2. Beach Trip

On their way down to the beach, Anna and Elsa placed their feet on the old bridge, stretching over the even older railroad tracks, connecting their town to the rest of the world. It was late summer and the weather was hot like the inside of an oven. The concrete bottom of the bridge felt jellylike, after being burned by the sun all morning, and the 2 sisters flip flops clicked against their feet. Throughout the years, vines and flowers had begun growing around the sides of the bridge, giving it an old, mossy but beautiful look.

The two sisters stopped at the middle of the bridge to enjoy the view of the old tracks. Small flowers in all kinds of the most beautiful, different colours were blooming between them, the tracks that wasn't in use was all mossy like the bridge, and the sun made the whole view look shiny, like in a fairy tale. Only one of the tracks were still in use, and was the only one where the tracks weren't broken or rusty as an old nail. People were having small picnics between the old ones, and 2 small boys were playing with a soccerball over at the track longest to the right.

"You wanna go and have a picnic at the tracks someday?" Elsa smiled at Anna, pushing her hand into hers, gently rubbing her knuckles.

Anna felt warmth in her already warm chest. _Oh god, please don't ever let go._

"I...yeah...i mean it would be...i don't know" Anna stuttered, nervously pushing some hair behind her ear with her free hand, feeling warmth rush into her cheeks also. "I thought we were on our way to the beach?"

Holding her hand infront of her mouth, her sister started giggling.

_Don't stop. For the love of god, don't._

"We'll go down there next week" she said between her giggle, trying to stop it when she saw her sister looking at her, afraid she had made her sad. She didn't know that the look was something completely different.

Still holding her sisters hand, Elsa began walking against the opposite side of the bridge, wanting to get down to the beach before all the loungers would be taken. Winter being her favorite season, and her skin always being cold as ice, she still found herself going to the beach a lot these days. At the start she thought it was because of the warmth of the sun, the halfnaked bodies, and the icecream stands. But the warm feel she got in her chest, when she thought about how her sister would stand in the doorway to her room, dressed in bathingsuit, asking if Elsa wanted to go to the beach, made her realize it had nothing to do with those things. Those were small bonuses. Anna was the reason the beach was so tempting. She wanted to go there, because her sister wanted to go there. Watching her sister, actually enjoying herself for once, made her happy, as nothing else in the entire world could. She could feel the corners of her mouth turning upwards, as she felt her sister catching up to her, placing herself shoulder to shoulder with her older sister.

"Thank you Elsa"

Elsa turned her head to look at her sister, confusement painted on her pale character. "For what?"

"For going with me to the beach, of course!" Anna grinned, blinking at her sister. "It's pretty rare that we do stuff like this. And now we've been going to the beach for a week straight!"

The corners of Elsa's mouth raised so high, it almost hurt. Hearing her sister enjoying herself, and enjoying Elsa's company, made her chest warm up. Which was probably not good, since it was hot as the inside of an oven. Still keeping the smile, to not show how Anna's words affected her, she felt a sadness overcome her, when she thought about the second sentence.

It's pretty rare that we do stuff like this. Oh, god...how must she not be feeling. You're her damn sister, you 2 should be doing stuff like this all the time.

"Well, there's a lot more where it's coming from," Elsa giggled, giving her sister's hand a little squeeze.

Then Anna's smile grew bigger than ever before, white teeth shining in the strong sun. Lifting her arms to Elsas shoulder height, her sister twisted them around her neck, embracing her in a strong hug. Their chests meeting, and heartbeats beating at the same pace, they stood at the far east end of the bridge, some of the picnic-fanatics looking at them, smiling at the embracing sisters.

* * *

The beach was already filled from where their feet touched the sand, to the watery waves, but with a bit of luck, the 2 sisters found the right amount of beach loungers at the far end of the beach. There were some rocks in the water, but since they came for the nice fresh breeze, the 2 sisters was more than happy to place their butts in the loungers, reaching for their magazines and sunglasses in the Anna's beachbag. The sun was boiling at the moment, and the sodas in the beachbag would last long, before getting too hot and almost undrinkable, so Anna pulled up 2, and threw one over to her sister. Not long from them, a bunch of very fit boys, and a few girls, who didn't really seem like they understood the game, was playing beachvolley, and from the serious looks on their faces, they weren't playing for fun.

Anna's face went from happy expressions to confused. "Isn't that...Kristoff?"

Elsa looked up from trying to open her can-soda. "Yeah, seems like it is."

Anna began chuckling. "Didn't he ask you out for the prom last month?"

When Elsa didn't answer, she turned her head to look at her sister, who seemed stunned. look turned against the volleytrack, cheeks red as Anna's hair, and a nervous little grin on her face. Elsa's expressions made Anna giggle even harder. "But you turned him down, right?"

Elsa nodded, eyes still locked at Kristoff. Or, what Anna thought was Kristoff. What she really was looking at, was one of the girls. Ariel. While Anna's hair was more leaning against ginger, Ariel's was red as blood. Her skin was a perfect tone of tan, and… oh god, her forms. Thin, but perfectly round at the right places, and a chest just the size for Elsa's hands, waiting to be…

"Wait a second!" Elsa could feel her sister's excitement. "Are you looking at...Ariel?"

Elsa released her teeth from her lower lip, which she apparently had been biting, while staring at Ariel's...perfect forms.

Anna began waving her arms in excitement, letting out a high pitch squeak. "Is that the reason you turned down Kristoff? Because you're rooting for the other team?"

Elsa's cheeks looked like they would boil over, which they might as well could have, due to the heat of the sun. But it wasn't the sun. She tried to hold her mouth in the straight direction, it naturally rested in, but the thoughts of Ariel turned them upwards, not giving a shit that she was trying to hide her emotions.

In Anna's eyes, that couldn't have been more than a yes, and she let out another high pitch squeak, before literally leaping onto her sister, embracing her in her arms, pushing them both of Elsa's lounger on the way.

Both of them laughed, as they rolled the few meters down towards the water, arms around each other, fighting to be the one to embracing the hardest.

* * *

"Honey?"

Anna's eyes remained closed, trying her hardest to maintain the current happiness, her mind had been so kind to give her. Slowly if faded away into limbo, the memories was replaced with the darkness of her eyelids, and the realization of where she was. Her right foot felt numb, as it had done when she laid down on the shitty couch in the livingroom. At least the morphine the doctor had given her still worked.

_As if shit wasn't already fucked, i now have to walk around with my foot in a cast also._

Her mothers kind and innocent, but broken voice grew louder, as Anna awoken more and more. She grunted, and turned her face from the back of the couch to meet her mothers tired character.

"I just.. wanted to he-e-ar if you wanted something to eat?" Her mother's expression was a mixture of sadness and a small dose of excitement, to maybe get something to do, that would take her mind of things for just a few seconds.

Anna thrusted herself up on one shoulder, scratching her eyes. "Mom, you need to get some sleep. You're not doing yourself any better by doing this to youself."

With bags under her eyes, hair in the biggest mess, and clothes that looked like it had been worn for several days straight, her mother gave her an exhausted smile. "I'll bring you some Coco Pops and some milk."

She walked around the couch, and into the kitchen, leaving Anna for just a few minutes. She turned the TV on, to try and occupy her mind, but all it ended up being was some stupid background noise for her thoughts.

She heard her mom whistle in the kitchen, making her even more sad. Her mother was not on the right path, when it came to tackling this situation. She sighed. She wasn't even sure if she was on the right path herself. She didn't even care.

She felt her eyes getting wet, and she turned her anger and sadness against the roof.

_You either don't exist, or you do exist. And if you do, you're the biggest, and most sarcastic asshole._

she placed her teeth into the back of the couch, and began sobbing.

* * *

**So...This is where i write some "Author note" stuff.**  
**Let me start of with saying that i love you for reading my story, and for wanting more! **

**I'm alittle slow when it comes to getting these out, but i just want them to be good enough, you know? **

**I know the first chapter was kind of a...rough start, if you could say so. So here's a little happy stuff.  
Dont expect that much though, i have a bunch of ideas, and i have to say, i won't be nice sometimes.**

**Please don't hate me too much 3**


	3. Agoraphobia

_Could she just stop with the fucking whistling?_

Anna bit her lower lip, trying to hold her thought to herself, and not let them burst out. She didn't want to hurt her mother.

_It's a self defense mechanism, Anna. Her mind is trying to take distance, and forget about the accident._

In Anna's head, the whole incident had been an accident. Or at least that was what her innocent, 19 year old, broken mind was trying to convince itself. That the whole thing couldn't have been avoided and that it was just something that happened. That Elsa and her just simply stood in the wrong spot at the wrong time. But her mind was just trying to push away the truth, and eat up a lie.

4 people were responsible, and one of them had been wearing a 'High Hill College' hoodie. Her school. One of the murderers was a shitting, eating, and learning living being, and the fucker went to the same school as her. She felt the anger grow from her chest, and her eyes grew wet with tears, waiting to burst out.

Her mother's whistling from the kitchen stopped, having Anna pop out of her little rage fit, due to the change in background noise.

_Maybe she finally realized that I don... Oh god here she goes again._

The whistling reappeared, and Anna grabbed her crutches. Lifting herself from the beige coloured, oversized couch she pretty much had been living in for the past 2 days, she was now standing on the only leg that could support her weight. She waltered around a bit, trying to get out from the tight gap between the couch, and the small TV-table, filled with McDonalds bags and a pack of Klinex.

The hallway was dark, and only lid up by a few small candles, giving it a fantasy world look. Bilbo's little shag inside the hill in the Lord of the Rings books popped up on the inside of Anna's eyelids, when she blinked. The only items in the hallway was a mirror and a coat hanger, stuffed with jackets. Elsa's jackets. A sting of pain went into Anna's chest with the thought of her sister, dressed in the black leather jacket, hanging on the hanger closest to Anna's view. Smiling, laughing and... Breathing. The sudden realization that her sister would never take another breath, never have another heartbeat beat behind her ribcage, released the tears that had built up in the corner of her eyes, letting them silently run down Anna's freckled cheeks.

Working her way down the hallway one swing on the crutches at the time, she heard her mother's whistling become more muffled and more quiet. She let out a relieved sigh. Even though the silent she meet, wasn't that much better, if even.

At the end if the hallway, a pretty steep staircase rose to the second floor of the house. Under the staircase, a wooden door with a small window would lead out to the backyard. Both ways were an option, but the most physical difficult one, seemed more plausible to her mind. All she wanted to do was lay in her bed and look up into the wooden roof.

She pushed herself to the feet of the staircase, looking up. She was thinking of calling out for her mother to help her, but all she would do would be to tell Anna that the couch is just as good of an alternative. And Anna wouldn't have a counter, unless she would tell that the whistling made her insane. Once again, she didn't see that as an option.

A brief touch of platinum hair brushing against her cheek, as she was pushing herself up the first step, and the shine of a pair of the most beautiful blue eyes, knocked her out of the little daydream of her warm bed, and thrusted her out of balance in shock. She turned her head so fast, her neck snapped, making her fall to the ground, banging her head into the wall.

_Was that...? No, that can't! I saw her getting... FUCK ME THAT WAS HER, I'M SURE OF IT!_

Looking up and down the hallway, she saw nothing.

_How the hell!?_

The touch had felt so real. She lifted a shaky hand, touching the spot where her sisters long locks of hair had brushed against a second ago. Or what her imagination had told her was her dead sisters locks. Anna eyes ran over, and tears of frustration and fear thrusted out between her closed eyelids.

"I can't take this shit..." She whispered, pulling her bedhead in frustration. "First the incident, then the whistling and now... for the love of god Elsa, i need you!"

Her tears was now dripping from her chin, landing on the red carpet in front of the staircase. She watched it drip, hoping it would turn into blood. Wished it would be blood, dropping from the wound of a cut artery, soon letting her take her last dying breath. She just couldn't take this shit much longer.

"_Come on Sis, it hurts me to see you like this.._"

Once again, Anna thrusted her head backwards, slamming it into the wall behind her in shock and terror.

"_Stop crying Anna...please?_"

Her sister smiled down at her, teeth the most shining of white, eyes blue as the ocean. A string of hair in front of an eye, gently touching her nose.

"E-eh-e...Elsa?" Anna mumbled, paralyzed by the pure hit of her sister's present.

Elsa just smiled. Then she lifted one of her beautiful pale hands, driving it down her sister's cheek, her eyes beginning to fill with tears herself.

Please don't cry Elsa, you're too beautiful to let those tears mess it all up.

Anna's eyes grew foggy from the tears in her eyes, forcing her to blink. Opening them again, her sister was no where to be seen. Nothing but an empty hallway and a bunch of blown out candles remained.

_No...no! NO! FUCKING NO!_

"No," Anna's voice grew in volume. "No!...NO, Elsa, please just… just stay! PLEASE..!"

She got on her hands and began crawling along the hallway.

"ELSA COME BACK!" Her scream echoed through the whole house. "_Please..._"

Her eyes began fogging, and her breathing got to fast paced. She hyperventilated, everything before her eyes turned black, and she collapsed on the floor, just as her scared and concerned mother showed her face in the living room door.

* * *

"Please doctor, she needs those meds!"

This bed felt nice. The mattress was nice, and the pillow was perfect. The carpet she was using smelled like rotten cheese though. She giggled. _Rotten cheese, heh..._

She felt a little slow, like when dosing between sleeping and being awake. It felt as if she was floating, and she liked that. Her head felt...lightened and her mind was letting no thoughts in at all. She could lay here forever. No worries, just comfort. She moved around a bit, finding an even more comfortable position. A few moments passed, and the relaxing feeling dosed of a bit, letting a few thoughts through to her relaxed mind.

_Was that my mom I just heard? Where am I? I like it here though, maybe I should just stay quiet. Might get to stay here a little longer._

"No, these meds are no ordinary meds, Mrs…"

"Ms."

"...Deeply sorry, _Ms._ Adelle. They are strong, and we..."

"Goddamnit just help me out here!" My mom sounds worried...what could possibly have gotten her so upset? Wait, that reminds me, I should probably get started on that essay soon. Isn't it Tuesday? I think it is... "Listen, she's..." Her mothers voice lowered, as if she wanted to make sure only the doctor heard.

"...she's scared of going to sleep, okay? Her mind is… it's playing tricks on her. Everytime she falls asleep, her body starts twitching, she starts... screaming for her sister, scratching her arms and..please, doc, I'm not sure how long she can keep up like this. I'm not sure how long I can keep up with this."

Anna could hear the doctor sigh.

"I'll give you a prescription for 5 days. No more." Anna felt a pair of eyes getting laid upon her. "After that, take her to a shrink."

_Why would I need a shrink? I'm fine aren't I? Mother seemed worried, maybe it had something to do with me doing something bad? These thoughts are ruining my happy mood, I'm gonna go to sleep, which I'm not scared of by the way, mother._

"The drugs we gave her to calm her nerves should stop working in a few hours. I'll go do the paperwork for the pills."

Anna heard footsteps, and her mother's breath relieved, before she let her mind wander into the blackness it had just returned from.

* * *

"Could I get to drive in one of those wheelchairs?"

Her mother looked at the doctor, who Anna had found out was a very masculine latino, names Dr. Balzuhri. She had giggled at his name, when he introduced himself to her, after she had woken up. The doctor sent her mother a sad smile. "The drugs won't be completely out her system before tonight. Go easy on her. And yes, she may borrow a wheelchair."

All Anna heard was the confirmation of her request to get to ride the wheelchair. Her legs still felt a little uneasy, so she placed her butt in the seat, waiting for her mother to push the wheelie from the back.

"Oh, and here are the pills, Ms. Adelle, one before her night's rest should do it." The doctor handed Anna's mother a pack of pills, with a long word that Anna was sure even the doctor wouldn't be able to pronounce correctly, written on the side of the package.

Her mother started pushing the wheelie, and Anna gave a little excited squeak. Why she was so excited for a trip in a wheelie, never struck her as weird.

"Does Elsa know we're at the hospital?"

Her mother stopped pushing for a moment. "Honey, please don't..."

"Is she at home? Is she making pancakes? I got the feeling she's making pancakes for when we come back, otherwise she would've been here!" She smiled at the thought of her sister with baking powder all over her hands and face. "I hope we got chocolate, so i can melt it on top, what am i talking about, of course we have chocolate, I mean it's my and Elsa's favori…"

Her mother started pushing the wheeling again, this time with more force, allowing a faster speed. It also stopped Anna's rambling.

"Wheeeeee..."

"Honey, stop. People are looking."

Anna didn't care. She had butterflies in her stomach, with the thought of getting home, rolling through the front door and leap for her sisters open arms. She knew they would be open, they always were. After they'd hugged, they would sit down, and eat melted chocolate pancakes, and talk about school and other stuff that Anna secretly hated, but kept a secret, cause Elsa liked to talk about those things. After that, they would go brush their teeth, and get in bed. Not before their little hug outside Anna's door though.

Her mother pushed the wheelie down their road, having them drive across some of their neighbours houses. Some of them were sitting outside, enjoying the fine weather. All of them replaced their happy grins with sad expressions when the family of 2 rolled by.

_Why are there no lights in our windows? Wasn't Elsa supposed to be making pancakes? Huh, maybe she turned of the lights to save money or something. Elsa has always been so responsible when i comes to stuff like that._

"I can't wait to get home to Elsa!" The sentence was supposed to stay inside her head, just like the rest of the thoughts, but this one just bursted out between her red lips before she managed to stop them. She didn't really think much of it, her mother knew how her and her sisters bond was.

She didn't notice her mother's silent tears behind her.


	4. White rabbit shits

"Everything alright over here?"

The 2 sisters released their arms from the embrace to look for the source of the deep voice. With her back turned to where the voice came from, she looked straight into her sisters face. She looked stunned. Elsa turned around to see who it was.

It was Kristoff. Even though his muscles where even bigger close by, and his smile probably could wet some panties just with a quick show of white teeth, it wasn't him who almost knocked the air out of her lungs. It was the redhead behind him. Ariel.

Curling around a lock of hair, the redhead pushed herself further behind Kristoff with a nervous smile.

_Oh god, she's adorable!._

Elsa broke out of her little blackout, sending Ariel a shy smile before looking to Kristoff.

"Y-yeah we're fine" she giggled. "You've been lifting some cars or something, Krist?"

The big meatloaf laughed. "I joined the football team, I gotta get myself some muscles, you know!"

Elsa nodded understandingly, shooting Ariel a short smile. The redhead looked down at her feet, smiling shyly herself.

"Listen, the whole 'prom' thing last month..." Kristoff looked Elsa straight in the eyes. " you think we could lay that behind us and become friends again?"

Elsa raised an eyebrow.

"I mean, I just read the signals wrong I guess." Kristoff lifted his shoulders up and down real fast as an apologetic gesture.

"Well, you don't have to worry about that anymore, Elsa's gay now!"

Elsa's eyes shut wide. _Goddamnit Anna!_

She looked back at her sister, who just laughed at her sisters expression.

"Come on sis, if you ever wanna score, people gotta know first!" Anna gave Elsa a playful bump. "All the girls is gonna jump your pale ass now."

Elsa could hear Kristoffs deep voice let out an even deeper laughter. She turned around to look at what now seemed to be a muscular blond football player, and a tomato. Realizing it was Ariel's blushing cheeks, she felt hers warm up herself.

Kristoff laughed: "well, glad we got that out of the way." He picked Elsa up from the beach, and looked her straight In the eyes.

"Friends again?"

"Friends again."

They both smiled, then Kristoff embraced her in a backbreaking hug.

"Alright, since we're friends again. I'm hosting a party later this evening, the whole school will pretty much be there. And I want my best friend to be my special guest."

He smiled to Anna. "And her sister also of course, if she'd like."

_Alright Anna, just... Breath. Don't start rambling, or say something stupid. Just say thank you, and say you'd love to come._

"Thank you so much, Kristoff. I'd love to come!" _Awesome job, Anna!_

Kristoffs looked like he was about to break his face from smiling. "Awesome! The party starts at 7pm! Hans will be DJ, and you 2 don't have to think about alcohol, I got you. All you 2 have to do is join in, and look hella good. But that won't be hard at all!"

Anna who wasn't used to Kristoffs compliments, blushed. Elsa didn't change her expression, but his compliments _did_ feel good.

Elsa felt a warmth in her chest, seeing her sister like this. It was very rare that Anna spoke to people from Elsa's year. Or to anyone at all, actually. The books and reddit was more interesting it seemed. But now Anna wasn't infront of a laptop, and she was actually enjoying it!

"Well, seeya tonight!" Kristoff waved, before walking towards the volleyball game, which was still going on in the background. Ariel send Elsa yet another shy smile, before she turned around and ran after Kristoff.

Elsa felt Anna place her hands around her belly. "Seems like you already got yourself a little flirt there, Sis"

Elsa giggled. _Seems like it. _

* * *

"H-how are the pills working, Hun?"

Anna just kept staring into her half eaten chocolate cereal.

_Oh you mean the damn 'zombie pills'? Totally working. Every time I swallow one of those white rabbit shits, I turn into a sleeping, shitting and eating shell of "my sister is totally fine". Well that would probably be real nice, if it didn't make me feel even worse than I did before, when the effect runs out.._

"Working fine."

Her mother gave her a sad smile. "You only got 2 days left of them. The doctor and I just wanna make sure you don't end up..." Her mothers word faded into a mumble Anna couldn't hear.

_What, cutting myself? End up with a rope around my neck in the closet? Commit a school shooting? Afraid to see me in the news, covered in someone else's brains, huh?_

Well, she had 3 hours of clearheadedness before it was back to zombie Anna. Her heart began poundering. It had begun doing so randomly after Elsa's incident. It hurt a lot, but she didn't wanted to give her mother yet another reason to give her more pills. It was probably just the stress anyways.

_At least her whistling has quiet down. Thank god._

She excused herself and grabbed her crunches. She moved into the livingroom, and sat down on the big couch she called her bed. She would like to go to her bedroom, but for an unknown reason, she felt a huge fear of movie towards the stairs to the second floor. A brief glimt of her sister passed her eyes, making her dizzy. She shaked her head to remove the picture of the beautiful slim blond from her view. It was hard though.

Her mother has opened up a window, to let some fresh air in. It felt good, even though her broken food was cold. She couldn't wear socks.

Her phone buzzed, making the small TV-table vibrate. She hadn't had a text in a week. Not that it was unusual, she has just as many friends as she had before the incident.

None.

_'you think you and I could... Talk or something? I wanna make sure you're okay._

_-Kristoff.'_

Anna stared at her broken iPhone screen, stunned. She didn't expect this from Kristoff. Sure, he was one of the only people who talked to Anna at the party, but he had too right? He invited her. But he actually seemed like a nice guy, and it hadn't felt like he invites her cause he felt like he had too, but more like he actually wanted her to come. Maybe she did have a friend? Or something that might could end up as one at some point.

She re-read the message a few times.

_'I wanna make sure your okay' _

Maybe he actually did care about if she was okay or not...?

She pressed the screen a few time, and began answering.

_'Meet me at the new coffee place in an hour, need to shower and stuff.'_

She looked into the wall above the fireplace for a few seconds, thinking.

Then she added: _'Thanks Kristoff.'_

she send the message, and coded Kristoff's number into her phone, before getting of her ass.

"Mom, you think you could fetch me some clothes?" She thought about it. "Some sweatpants would be nice"

At least the toilet was downstairs.

* * *

The little coffee café had an old '60's American' look. Apparently European people like this kinda stuff. Anna had to admin she did find the place chill and relaxing herself.

Kristoff had been standing in front of the café door, and he waved at Anna when she arrived. He had a smile on his face, but his eyes were sad. His clothes were all matching, but the his shirt was messed and not ironed in some time, and his pants had mudstains at the lower part above his shoes. He looked like a school student, who had finally gone down with the stress. It was nothing close to Anna though.

They found a table as long away from the other 4 customers in the café. It didn't take long for their coffee's to come, and Anna quickly began sipping, wanting the coffein's sweet wonders to work as soon as possible.

"You look...good?" Kristoff's compliment came out more like a question than a compliment.

Anna made a 'pfft' sound. "I look like shit."

Kristoff looked like he wanted to protest, but on the looks of his eyes, he agreed.

"Listen, I...I'm sorry if this feels inappropriate or something. I just couldn't stand being at home any longer. My mother treats me like I'm a kid who got his first knee scratch, asking how I'm feeling all the time, talks to me like I'm a psycho, who could burst and go on a rampage... Fuck, I'm rambling." He drove his hands through his blond hair. "I-I just needed to talk to someone, who gets me. Who knows how I feel... And, I've been worried about you."

Anna nodded, still sipping from her coffee. "Worried?"

"I see you as a friend. And I care about my friends."

Anna smiled her first real smile in a week.

"Listen...Elsa's gone. We need to accept that. I'm not sure if you've accepted that fact, but by the looks... You've felt just as shit as I have."

He noticed Anna's sad expression turning even sadder. She even stopped sipping from her mug.

Kristoff hurried to explain himself further: "I'm not saying that we should just forget her. We shouldn't. Elsa was perfect in any way, and I will never forget her, and I know you won't yourself. But Elsa wouldn't wanna see us like this. If she was here right now, she would call us both a par of sad shits. Let's just...try, you know?" He looked her straight in the eyes. "For Elsa."

"I-I'm n-not su-re I can do t-hat"

Anna felt her heartbeat raising fast. She wanted to help Kristoff, and herself. But...fuck! Their were talking about Elsa here, she couldn't just...

A loud shattering noise broke the silence, and her tears started flowing, large sobs making her bounce up and down in the small cafés seat.

"Jesus Christ, Anna!" She heard the fear in Kristoff's voice. It sounded like he was yelling to her from a great distance, due to the ringing in her ears. She looked down at her hand, which was supposed to be holding the mug. All she was holding now was a handful of broken porcelain. Blood was rapidly flowing from the inside of her palm, dripping from the end of her pinky.

She saw Kristoff disappear towards the counter in a hurry to get some napkins for her hand. She studied the dripping blood, as her sobbing continued.

_I'll never get through this..._


End file.
